Kids say the darndest things

Posted by cara (175 days ago)

about a year ago we had a thread like this going and it was wonderful to read...most of our children are a little bit older now and most likely a little bit wiser....just wondering what your child has said recently that has made you smile???

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Find what you are after in our Tokyo A-Z Directory

Posted by cara (175 days ago)

i'll start...

about 6 months ago, we bought a car. this is our first car in HK... i'm not exactly a patient driver and one day i honked at someone in front of me.

my then, 2.5 year old piped up from the backseat...."come on guys... BEEP! BEEP! FASTER!!!!!!!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (172 days ago)

i can't believe that no one's kids have said anything funny lately!?!?!?!?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by joshmomm (172 days ago)

Okay, here are some...

I love asking my 3-yo questions just to see what answers he would come up with. He hasn't disappointed me with the creativity of his answers.

Lately, he loves playing the "when xxx grows up, what will it become?" game.

We were in the car when he announced that "when the taxis and cars grow up, they become buses!"

"When Daddy grows up, he becomes an old Daddy!" ;p

"When seeds grow up, they become plants; when plants grow up, they become trees; when trees grow up, they become buildings!"
---------

My son was playing with some ice cubes when he had an "aha" moment: "Mommy, we just put chocolate on the ice and we will have chocolate ice cream!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (172 days ago)

ha! i love it!

my three year old is given mac & cheese with veg (usually peas) mixed in. just to give it a little bit of goodness.... well my son HATES the peas... i have to get him to close his eyes and open his mouth in order to eat them.

well, a few weeks ago, he said to me in a hushed conspiratorial voice, "shhh! don't tell mummy about the peas!"

i asked him what he meant. his reply, "yaya(our helper) said don't tell mummy about the peas. no need to eat!"

our helper turned beet red and has been apologising ever since!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (172 days ago)

"i can't believe that no one's kids have said anything funny lately!?!?!?!?"

My stuff is mostly in Swedish so I doubt this board would be much enriched by it. ;)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by MayC (171 days ago)

I took my 3.5 year old daughter to a public toilet last Saturday and after helping her on the loo, I had to "go" myself. She exclaimed loudly, "Wow, mummy, your panties are really nice. You have a princess' pink panties". I almost died of embarrassment.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by MayC (171 days ago)

Last week, I bought a Cinderella book for my little girl. I told her that Cinderella's real mummy died so her dad married a wicked mummy who didn't like Cinderella. At the end of the story, she burst out crying. She said she didn't want mummy to die. I replied, "Well, mummy's young and I'm not going to die. I'll die when I'm very old - when you see me with white hair". She cried even more. So I said, "Okay, mummy isn't gonna die because I have to look after you".

Then last Sunday, she saw an old man with white hair and she said out loud, "Mummy, is he gonna die?" I had to tell her not to say such things.

I've learnt my leson. I better read the stories word for word rather than adding my own by saying, "Cinderella's real mummy died". What was I thinking?

Kids are sooo innocent... and soooo adorable.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (171 days ago)

Mine aren't that much fun.

- After #2 was born #1 learned what crying babies meant. She would look at me very seriously and say "Baby Hungry!" while nodding solemnly.

- We were at Ocean Park and #1 was just over 2. She knew what being a rascal was by then. So there we were at the sealion exhibit. Two handlers came out to check the health of one sealion. They gave it fish and inspected the fins. Another sealion surreptitiously approached from where they couldn't see it. It nudged a handler and asked for fish. My daughter immediately exclaimed "RASCAL!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (171 days ago)

great! keep 'em coming!

i can use the laughs!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Sue (171 days ago)

My daughter (2.5 yrs) pointed at a picture of me and her in the hospital just after I'd given birth and said "look theres mummy and a baby" and I said "thats you, just after you came out of my tummy". She looked at me a bit oddly and said "your tummy?" and I said "yes, you were in my tummy". Appalled and very accusingly she asked "you ATE me??"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (171 days ago)

That's hilarious Sue! You almost made me spit tea all over my monitor!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by isonoawabi (171 days ago)

Travelling on a bus …
LO: Mummy, are you nineteen years old?
Me: Nope, much older.
LO: Are you 25?
Me: Well … yes, I was, a long time ago… Wait a minute, you shouldn’t ask a lady about her age.
LO: Why?
Me: Age is a lady’s biggest secret. I wouldn’t want anyone on this bus to know how old I am.
LO: Tell me, please. I promise I won’t tell anyone. You can whisper, Mummy. I promise I’ll keep it secret.
Me: OK (whisper) I’m forty.
LO: (a moment’s silence, then in a loud voice). Mummy, why did you tell a lie?! You are 40 years old but just now I asked you if you were 25, you said yes!
Me: You broke your promise! Why did you shout? Now everyone on this bus knows my age!
LO: OK, I’ll tell them you are not 40. (In an even louder voice) Mummy, you are 19 years old, aren’t you?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Amanda Le (171 days ago)

My little boy being 2.5 at the time said out loud in a crowded fitting room
"men have googies. women have boobies. But I don't know about..." pointing at someone in the opposite change both.

I could have died then and there!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by joshmomm (164 days ago)

We were at the dentist the other day and my 3yo just had prophylaxis. While waiting for me to finish paying, he spotted small packs of soy milk in the clnic's mini-fridge. He said he wanted one.

Me: But the dentist just brushed your teeth.
J: It's okay, Mommy. The soy milk is white anyway.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (164 days ago)

oh! those are funny!

more, more, more!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by isonoawabi (164 days ago)

Child: Is it true that bad people go to hell when they die?
Mum: That's what the Church teaches.
Child: Does he stay there forever or can he come back to this world?
Mum: The Bible says he will stay there forever. That means he cannot come back to this world.
Child: Is there enough food for him there to eat forever?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by isonoawabi (164 days ago)

Overheard two kids talking.

Kid 1: My dad is in the fashion business.
Kid 2: That's cool! He can make nice clothes for you then!
Kid1: No, he can't. He doesn't know how to make clothes. His job is to go to factories and tell the people there that they don't know how to make clothes.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by bprmum (164 days ago)

Kids I teach...

Child:I love cuddling you Miss.
Me:Thanks
Child:Yeah, my mummy is all hard and bony, but you are like a pillow and full of wobbly bits!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (164 days ago)

i taught a set of 4 yr old twin girls about 8 years ago...

when i arrived at the lesson and took my shoes off, my big toe poked a hole through my sock. the girls were standing there talking to me and when it happened, i said, "oh, look at that, i've got a hole in my sock!"

one of the girls waited a beat and then said, "that's ok, miss cara, my dad has sooooooooo many holes in his underwear!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (164 days ago)

i had some students ask me once if snowmen fell from the sky like that?(already made)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (164 days ago)

and just tonight driving home, we passed a couple of police motorcycles and a van on Island Eastern corridor and my son piped up from the back seat....
"uh oh, i think that there is a little problem!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by isonoawabi (161 days ago)

I asked son what he thought if his mum had another baby. He said it was a great idea since he would then have a baby brother or baby sister to play with. I asked him whether he preferred a baby bro or sis. He said, show me their pictures first and I'll choose.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (161 days ago)

LOL!

great!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by MilkMonster Laughs (161 days ago)

haha great thread!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by sarah jane jj (160 days ago)

When in the shower my 3year old boy said" Boys not have boobies,only Mummies and Daddies"(time for Daddy to exercise)Another time after studying Daddies face he said"Your face all broken Daddy"after noticing some wrinkles

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by kazasia (150 days ago)

My son sam (7) met a new friend the the other day who hails from India and is about 9 years old... the boys got chatting about their home countries and about religion...
Sam: Sharma, I believe they have three gods in India ... one that looks like an elephant, a blue one with a beard and one with lots of arms, right?
Sharma: Yes i guess so..(smiling)
Sam: their names are elephant man, papa smurf and johnny six arms isnt it? we have only one called jesus in the manager

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (150 days ago)

awesome!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (130 days ago)

the other day my son spent some time with MaMa (his paternal grandmother). this is what he told me:
"mama was not angry when i dropped the glass."
"you dropped a glass! did it break?"
"yes, the floor was wet and i slipped and dropped the glass."
"oh! did you get hurt? did you cry?"
"no... i just said...whoa!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by maternitynurse (130 days ago)

I am not a mum but I look after newborns and toddlers alike. One little boy called Jamie couldn't pronounce his J's so when I asked him what he wanted for his tea he said loudly 'Dam sandwiches please!"

He has twin sisters too and when he proudly pushed them out in their pram for the first time he stared at a lady pushing her baby in a stroller going in the opposite direction and after a while I asked him what was wrong because he was unusually quiet. He replied with a sad face "that poor lady has only got 1 baby, did she forget the other one at home?"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Scot (130 days ago)

I was talking to my husband one night when he returned home from work.

I said "I bumped into Nancy at the supermarket today", (meaning that I'd met Nancy). On overhearing this my 5 year old son said "Oh, did you hurt her. You must be more carefull mummy!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (130 days ago)

very funny!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Amanda Le (129 days ago)

we were all out for dinner and friends had a pack of ciggies on the table. My 4 y.o son took hold of them and yelled out "who's are these? These are only for adults! You should know the rules!"

My son saw a cute cuddly toy in the shop. He quickly grabbed me to show me it. "Look mummy. Isn't it cute. Awwwww....it's so cute...just like me!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (129 days ago)

lol!

we bought some krispy kremes the other day... that night daddy and i finished them off. the next morning, i got a phone call< MUMMY, YOU ATE ALL MY DONUTS!!!!!!!!!!

oops!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (129 days ago)

today i took my boy with me to town to do errands. one of them was going to the bank. i was supposed to deposit a cheque and then head on to another errand, a bill that HAD to be paid today. got to town to realise that i had NO $ in the wallet, AND hubby had the cheque in HIS wallet....needless to say i was a little put out. i was explaining to hubby what the problem was when little one pipes up, "here mummy, let me!"

he then takes my mobile phone and berates hubby "daddy, now we don't have any money! first we go to one bank (to stand in the queue) and now we go to another bank (ATM) and we still have NO MONEY! i'm thirsty, but mummy can't buy me any juice, because we have NO MONEY!"

needless to say, the people in the queue in front of us were having a great laugh at my expense!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (129 days ago)

Lol. Time to start banking on the Internet? I don't go to branches anyway but you've given me one more reason.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (129 days ago)

thank goodness i still had the bank cards on me and a little $ in the bank!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by joshmomm (124 days ago)

My 3yo overheard me telling my parents about some of his classmates who were half-Chinese, half-American and he immediately piped in, "I'm half-Hong Kong, half-Island Resort!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (123 days ago)

LOL! you gotta wonder where they come up with these!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by austria (122 days ago)

My younger son, an early speaker who never stopped talking, often substituted other words in his sentences.

"We can put it in the freezer until it is isolated." (Finally, we understood he meant 'frozen' - you can see the logic in that!

"This is Mum's! M-U-M-catastrophe-S!"

But my favorite is the word he substituted for 'illness'."If you don't wash your hands, you'll catch an Elvis."

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (122 days ago)

AWESOME!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by kazasia (120 days ago)

MY son overheard me expressng my concern (whinging) about the problems my helper was having securing a visa so that she could start work.
I told him she needed to get a visa before she could work for us... he had the perfect solution:
"Don't worry mum, just get her a master card instead!"
arghghg

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (120 days ago)

LOL!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by flashback (120 days ago)

My kids' memorable comments:
Son 1: What happened to your father?
Me: He died.
Son 1: Who shot him? (too much television?)

Son 1 (at the doctor's surgery... singing) We're going to see the ducky doctor...We're going to see the ducky doctor...
Lady Waiting: Who's the ducky doctor then?
Son 1: Quack,quack, quack... (just as the doctor came out to call us in!!)

After watching Wizard of Oz too many times, we were at the greengrocers.
Cashier (to me): you have such lovely children.
Daughter: Shut up you lop-sided bag of hay! (red faces all around!)

Son 2: (seeing a pregnant woman) Dad, you know some people have other people living inside of them.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (120 days ago)

my cousin once told someone that his father was "a very impotent man!" after much gaffawing and clarification, we realised that he obviously meant "important"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by austria (120 days ago)

One day I thought I'd expand my son's pasta experience a little. He eyed his tagliatelle with suspicion.

"Why did you iron the spaghetti?" he demanded.

As if I had the time ....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (120 days ago)

Oh, god... these are great!

keep 'em coming!

we've moved the kids' beds into our larger bedroom with the coming of the warmer weather, to lower electric consumption.

anyway... this morning at 6am the 15 month old started making noises to get up. after a couple of squeals, mummy, with head under the blankets, pretending to be asleep, hears from the other side of the room, "XXX lie down, it's still sleep time!"

Gosh, i've trained 'im well!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by isonoawabi (116 days ago)

Our former helper gave birth to a lovely baby boy a couple of months ago. The proud parents sent us photos of the lovely little boy. Son was thrilled because the baby's named after him. He wanted to bring the photos to school for show and tell. We were curious about what he was going to say and asked him. He said, I'll tell everybody this is my helper's baby and he is a living thing.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by sharefitness (115 days ago)

It's vulgar as it is funny – very meet the fockers, yes my son has unfortunately taken to the S word and practices it occasionally around the house amongst other words, mind you his name starts with S, he says (Dog’s name) SIT, SHOE and now apparently SH**!! He said it to a granny who bumped into his pram the other day, ha!ha! that brought tears to our eyes – yes shame on us, we’re working on SUGAR & WooWoo instead…we'r not making it a big deal but incase you think I should be charged for "poor parenting" what do you suppose I do?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Katetam (115 days ago)

This is a GREAT thread!

Me: "Sweetie, you're sleepy, it's time for bed."
Daughter: "No, I am not. I haven't YAWNED yet."

(Last week, I told her "sweetie, look you're yawning, you must be so sleepy."

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Nashua852 (115 days ago)

Fantastic thread Cara! Giving me lots to look forward to :)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (115 days ago)

we are very careful to use the word "foo-ey" or "phooey" around our house and occasionally, i can hear my son talking to himself saying... "oh, phooey!" when something doesn't go quite right.

we've also been working on the "please say excuse me if i'm talking to daddy..."

today in the car, my son was talking to me, when my husband made a comment about a passing car to me.

from the back we hear...." daddy, you say, excuse me! i was talking to mummy first!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by joshmomm (115 days ago)

LOL --we must be careful what we preach; they learn really fast and preach back at us when we slip. :)

We always ask our son to say "good morning" or "cho-san" or "nei ho" to people we meet. There were a few times when the people that he greeted didn't deign to say hello back. I would then reiterate to him (within earshot of these people!) that it's always nice and polite to say good morning/hello to the people we meet and to return the greeting when greeted.

One lady he greeted the other day didn't greet back. My 3yo waited a few seconds then said to her, "You should say good morning back! It's nice." Luckily, the lady had a sense of humor and promptly said good morning back with a smile. (I was cheering inside!).

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (99 days ago)

got a new one...

today, sick... watching Oprah...my 3 y.o says, "mummy, you should go to sleep. It's my turn to watch tv." i got up and said, "you're right. i'm going to sleep. but YaYa(our helper) is watching Oprah too, she likes Oprah."

about 30 seconds later, i hear as i'm going up the stairs, "yaya, do you like donald, mickey and goofy?"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by sunniefaith (99 days ago)

I don't have kids but have to share this. Last weekend, my husband and I were at the children's home playing with this cute little girl. She's around 3.

She can't speak much English but can speak Cantonese really well. I was pushing her in her little tikes car. After awhile, she got the hang out of her car. She came up to me and tapped me hand and started sprouting in Cantonese. With my limited Cantonese and her gesturing wildly, I realised that she wanted to get into her car, squeeze to the back of it, she wants to give me a ride! I smile and tried not to laugh but couldn't control anyway. I'm like 1.68 cm and weigh more than 65 kg! And how could I ever squeeze into the car!

But it was a nice thought.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (99 days ago)

This weekend we were going to the shops. I got tired of browsing for furniture, so I went ahead and started on the groceries.

Apparently, as my wife and kids came in, my daughter (2½) saw me wandering around far down the aisles. She yelled: "Gau-cho-ah PAPA!" Needless to say, the cashiers had a good laugh out of that. Special shout-out to our helper for the little Canto phrases my daughter picks up. ;)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Nashua852 (98 days ago)

We were at a birthday barbecue recently of twin boys turning 4, I had our baby on my lap with his buggy open next to us when the two boys rushed over to play with bab. One of whom was staring quizzically at LO and then at his buggy.

Twin #1: "But...Where's the OTHER baby?!?!"
Me: "We've only got one!"
Twin #2 (misinterpreting): YOU MEAN YOU LEFT HIM AT HOME??!"

ah, kids.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by MayC (94 days ago)

I have to go for a laparascopic surgery this Thursday.

My helper: The doctor's gonna cut mummy open with a knife.
My daughter runs to me.
My daughter: Mummy, "ty ty" (meaning our helper) says that the doctor will cut your tummy open with a knife.
Me: No he won't. He's only going to give me meds, I stay for two nights and then I'll be able to go home.
My daughter runs to our helper.
My daughter: Ty ty, don't say the doctor is going to cut my mummy with a knife. My mummy said no. Don't say that again, okay?

Bless, she's so sweet....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (94 days ago)

i went for surgery and i told my 3 year old that the dr was going to cut my leg with a knife. he was quite afraid, but i told him that it was ok and i would be much better after... it worked and now he keeps asking if my leg is better, which it is....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (87 days ago)

so, i was getting out of the shower today, getting ready for "date night" and i asked my son to get me a bra....well, he did and as he was passing it to me, he kind of "eyed" it. i asked him if he was going to put it on...his answer....

"no, mummy. that's too big. you need to buy me a smaller one!"

i then laughed and explained that only girls wear them, not boys....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by buzz74 (86 days ago)

Some times, I would take my 18 month old daughter usually hear me called mgaai in shops, restaurant etc. and she is just starting to use some words. This afternoon I decided to have lunch at fairwood.

the cashier was asking what she wan't to eat.
daughter : (started pointing) that, their, that, ok.
after paying we que up, one of the staff said she will help us to carry it but ofcourse we have to wait for a minutes and my daughter does not know that, but as soon as we sat.
daughter : gaaiii! the food? (at loud).

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (86 days ago)

My wife was giving our older daughter a shower, but she had to shower herself first, and our daughter saw her shaving her legs. Of course "me too shave!" So my wife gave her a couple strokes with the razor.

When they came downstairs she immediately informed our helper that she had shaved her legs, mimicking the motion and saying "smooooooooth".

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (86 days ago)

very funny!

my son has just started to notice armpit hair. he exclaimed one day that "mummy, you don't have hair there!" i explained that some women didn't like to have hair under their arms. he spent the next few days asking every woman he met if she liked having hair under her arms!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Mighty (86 days ago)

My daughter is 4 and a bit and as usual she thinks she knows everything. I am a bit sick of it one day because she doesnt hv the slight patience to wait for my proper explanation.

Mum : sometimes really you are too big for your boots.
Child : really, which boots?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (75 days ago)

i asked my boy a question the other day. he'd just put a biscuit into his mouth. when he'd finished he politely told me it wasn't good to talk with food in your mouth. i agreed.

he thought for a few minutes and then asked why "mama" (his paternal grandmother) ALWAYS talked with food in her mouth....

hmmmm... that was a hard one to answer.....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Fikiwii (74 days ago)

My oldest boy has a very logical mind so makes us laugh when he comes up with names for things eg. 'nipple clothes' (bra). Can't bring myself to correct him....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by isonoawabi (73 days ago)

We have taught our boy to speak politely and to address people by Mr or Miss. My secretary had a good laugh when she got a call from a kid the other day asking to speak to Miss Mummy.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by DeniseG (73 days ago)

We had visitors staying recently and on a visit to the flower market, miss 4 urgently needed to use the bathroom. I took her to the public toilet and lo and behold it was a squat! Miss 4 couldn't believe what she was seeing and in a very loud voice exclaimed "on my goodness, someone's stolen the toilet!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (73 days ago)

LOL! I LOVE IT!
keep them coming!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by mixeymum (72 days ago)

We went out to a buffet breakfast and my 6 yo helped herself to cereal, fruit, yoghurt, cut meats etc. She asked me to help her crack and peel a boiled egg and when I opened it was old looking and almost green. I said "oh that looks at bit green better not eat it, just leave it". She smiled and said "I do not like green eggs and ham!" and I laughed my head off.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (71 days ago)

i actually laughed out loud at that one!

great!
as for green eggs and ham... my son has just discovered the book/dvd that we have... i wonder when i'll be hearing about it? hopefully not on my day to cook!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Elodie (70 days ago)

A couple of months after I'd stopped breastfeeding his sister, my son came to wake me up one day and sat on the side of the bed, his hand resting on my chest. After a while, he started patting my chest and asked: "You don't have your boobies on, just now?"
Ouch!!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (70 days ago)

we live in the country park and there are "retire" cows roaming around.

i've been explaining the difference between a cow and a bull to my 3 year old. the bulls are daddies and they have penises etc.

last week we drove past a few and my son said, "there's a daddy bull....WOW! look at the size of his b*lls!"

i think he has the differences down pat now.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by the goddess kali (70 days ago)

wow cara, nice... when i was a child i used to live opposite a small dairy farm form where we used to get our milk, literally about an hour after the cows were milked. htere was a thread on milk brands that made me think how things are so different around here and also in the west. It's great your kids get to grow up looking at the real thing.

i know i digress from the point of this thread.. hope u dont mind.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by isonoawabi (60 days ago)

Having learned at Sunday school that only good people who die go to heaven, my six-year-old had this question to ask: Is it true that there are only dead bodies in heaven?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (60 days ago)

my 6 year old nephew went to sunday school with my mum (who is very active in her church). when she went to pick him up, the teacher said, "why don't you tell grandma about the story you learned today? you know, the baby in the manger, the three wise men..."

"nah, i'm more into violence!"

my mother was speechless and just a tad embarrassed. when she got him to the car, she asked about the story. he replied again that he was more interested in violence. to which my mother said, "but violence is bad!"

"not when it's used to fight the forces of evil!" replied my nephew!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (48 days ago)

a lesson in children's logic....

"mummy, i banged my finger! .....Quick, i need a BANG-AID!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (37 days ago)

If needed, we send #1 (almost 3) out on our balcony for a time-out. During our vacation, #1 gave #2 (15 months) a time-out.

#2 had just licked the neck of the insect repellant bottle, and been told off by mommy. A few minutes later, she darted forward and did it again.

#1: "#2, go outside!" [pointing towards the open balcony doors]
#2: [loooking on with a bemused expression]
#1: "Go outside" [points again, then pushes bum so that #2 will get the picture] "Go outside now!"
#2 [Crawls outside with much encouragement from #1]
#2 has now crawled out, so #1 closes the balcony doors.
#1: [Waggles finger at #2 through balcony doors] "You have to listen to mommy, #2! I have TOLD you! You have to LISTEN to mommy!"

#2 was pretty amused by the game until she was let in again, and #1 wanted to give her a second time-out. Then she looked at mommy with pleading eyes.

We were trying not to laugh hysterically at the whole scene, and failing miserably.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by maali (37 days ago)

my pupil told me teacher i found a cat, but it was dead. 'How do you know that the cat was dead?' i asked him. 'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,'answered the child innocently. 'You did WHAT???' the I r exclaimed in surprise. 'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move.'

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by maali (37 days ago)

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, 'Mommy, you are getting fat!' I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.' 'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your butt?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by maali (37 days ago)

my friend told me this some time ago

Her little girl, when asked her name, would reply, 'I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.' My friend the childs mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.' The pastor spoke to her in Sunday School and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?' She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by MayC (37 days ago)

My 3 year old: Did it hurt when the doctor took me out of your tummy?
Me: Just a little bit.
My 3 year old to her father: Daddy, can you carry a baby in your tummy next time?
Her father: Why?
My 3 year old: I don't want mummy to get hurt.

My daughter is simply the best! ;-)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by emlax20 (37 days ago)

On the way home at the end of a long day, my friend drove through the McDonalds drive through for an ice cream treat for her 4 year old in the back seat.

She handed the ice cream back to her child and pulled out of the parking lot. As she did she let another car cut in front of her. Being the quick tempered woman that she is, she yelled "You're welcome a**hole!" at the driver of the other car.

A quiet minute later her 4 year old piped up from the backseat in a soft voice: "I'm sorry Mummy. THANK YOU for the ice cream."

Apparently, our lessons in manners are not completely lost on our children!!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by !@#$%^&*() (37 days ago)

My friend to her 3 y.o : Do you love mommy?
Little one : NO- I will love mommy tomorrow....I'm playing PSP now...

kids....how can you not fall in love with them?!?!?!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by ruby3 (36 days ago)

i took my 3 1/2 yr girl to pool the other day. Someone was changing a boy of her age , my girl must hv noticed the diff but didn't ask.
After pool we went to park.. on the way she kept asking me about her friend who was wearing orange shirt. i could't follow it.. i kept saying 'who sweetie? ', then she said" mama who had long-long shame shame!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by ruby3 (36 days ago)

i took my 3 1/2 yr girl to pool the other day. Someone was changing a boy of her age , my girl must hv noticed the diff but didn't ask.
After pool we went to park.. on the way she kept asking me about her friend who was wearing orange shirt. i could't follow it.. i kept saying 'who sweetie? ', then she said" mama who had long-long shame shame!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by xmauix (35 days ago)

oh emlax, what a shame for the mom! feel bad for her child :(

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Scot (21 days ago)

I got changed to go the gym one day but dropped my son of at a friends for a playdate first. After the gym I didn't have time to shower and change before collecting him so I just jumped into the car. On the way I stopped at the supermarket for some groceries.
I collected my 5 year old and as usual he asked me where I'd been while he was playing. I replied that i'd been to the gym and then to the supermarket. He was quiet and then stared at me for a few seconds and said "What? Dressed like THAT?!.
Now I always shower and change before I leave the gym!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Mummy (20 days ago)

For a while, we had both our daughters sharing a room but #2 had sleep issues going on. One night, #2 wouldn't settle so our helper went in.

4 y.o. #1: 'Auntie, you need to give #2 some boobie."
Auntie: 'What! No, no only Mummy can give her boobie'
#1: 'No, I've given her boobie 4 times but she still won't stop crying'.

Auntie crawled out crying with laughter and I quickly joined her bawling my eyes out!

I was recently walking down the street to a birthday party with both the girls in party dresses. Eldest, now 5, dropped her toy baby, picked her up, gave her a cuddle then hoisted her dress up to her armpits and gave baby some boobie!!!!!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (20 days ago)

ha! My son tries to give boobie to the dolls, too!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by shmaks (15 days ago)

Just found this thread, really enjoyed it. Here is my story.

Whenever we tried to pursuade my son to eat his food, we say the food will help him grow taller and stronger. Well, a year ago, I took my then 3-year-old son to the gym. Happened that day, the famous basketball player Yao Ming was at the gym the same time. My son, at the first sight of Yao Ming, let out a long "woooooowwww", then a long pause. Just as Yao Ming was getting into the elevator (he had to bow his head really low to get into the lift), my son said really loudly "you ate too much!" Yao Ming just smiled.

(I am based in Shanghai)

Posted by muttles (3 days ago)

When my boy was 4 he demanded I buy him a chocolate bar - which I refused - He screamed "I HATE YOU! You're a fu****gsh*tbag!

Don't know where he learned that language but could not stop laughing for an hour - and by then it was too late to spank the horrid little brat....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by joshmomm (3 days ago)

We were at the beach last Saturday and my 3yo spotted a lady in a bikini who was in the water and the following conversation took place:

J: Mama, look --a mermaid!
Me: (Suppressing a smile) Really, a mermaid? Why don't you go over and say hello?

He was getting up from our beach blanket and was going to do just that when the lady came out from the water.

He turned to me and said rather disappointedly, "Oh no, she has legs!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Chaminda&Ayesha (3 days ago)

Our four year old had a habit of calling elderly people "old" in front of them....saying things like"mommy why is that old lady walking with a stick?" or "mommy why is that old man have white hair"
The first time I explained that it's rude to say "Old" and point them.

One day we were visiting my husband's grandmother who is in her late eighties....
He smiles with her and touches her arm and asks me"mommy why are her arms not new?""!!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (3 days ago)

LOL! I LOVE the logic of small children!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by axptguy38 (3 days ago)

Here's another literal minded one. I'll call my daughter Anna.

Anna: "Mama called Anna yesterday."
Helper: "And what did Mama say?"
Anna: "AAANNNNAAAAAAA!"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by apple79 (2 days ago)

my 5 year old ward/kid is too frank

while sitting next to a popo in the MTR who suddenly talk when she received a call shouted "waaaa help me!!! her mouth is very smelly? (in cantonese)" I feel embarassed and sorry for the popo at the same time

while were having our lunch he said to his mom "don't eat too much, now you're too fat". My boss blamed me because Im giving her too much rice.

while in a lift, a big fat man entered "woah auntie he is very fat ge? (in cantonese)" and I was even afraid to look at the guy's eyes. woah he's too big....

how do you teach a 5 year old kid that some obvious things arent nice to just blurt them out? but I found every situation funny when reminiscing about them, cruel me.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by erniearcilla (2 days ago)

After a year of staying in the Philippines, I brought my 3yo daughter in Hk for a vacation. In the bus to the city, my daughter and I sat on the front seat of the upper deck. Seconds after the bus took off, my daughter asked me " Dad where's the driver?"

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by apple79 (1 day ago)

at home I taught my 5 year old ward/kid to say sorry after he releases this nasty gas (really nasty) called fart. when its my turn he demands that I should say sorry as well. since there are three of us in the house (mostly), we make fun of it, me saying "its not me, maybe its koko" and him insisting "its you, it came from you"

embarassment came when we're at the MTR (him and me). twas roush hour so we we're standing when someone else releases an unwanted gas. when it reached his nose and knowing that it didnt came from him, he said in a loud voice "yuck antie you farted you have to say sorry (in cantonese)" and everone is looking (madly) at me. "that's not me (in cantonese)" I told him (its not really me), thinking that Im playing game he insisted that I have to say sorry.

we went out on the next station and took the next train to reach our destination..

lesson I learned:take fart seriuosly

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by RA (21 hrs ago)

My son who is 2 yrs, 7 months came to me with his 'magic' wand. He waived it over me saying 'Abracadabra..gilli boom baa, I'll turn you into a crocodile!' he waited a minute and then looked at me and said 'Maa , its not working, you are not a crocodile!'

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by cara (20 hrs ago)

LOL!

(I am based in Hong Kong)